BUT, there are a few things I'd wish I'd know, especially about after the birth. It would certainly have saved me a few calls to the health visitor.
So here are a list of the lesser know things that can happen post pregnancy- the good, the bad and the down right gross.
1.) Your period post pregnancy smells. Even without stitches or an infection, you have the wonderful delights of lochia, your post pregnancy period that can last for weeks. It's essentially all the 9 months worth of crap coming out of your uterus that wasn't delivered during the birth....and it stinks! Perhaps something to do with the still increased sense of smell you develop while carrying your infant, it's not a pleasant experience. After worrying needlessly and seeing the health visitor, I found out its all normal....just no one ever mentioned it.
**(Obviously you could have an infection especially if you have stitches. If your worried, see a health practitioner)
2.) You, your partner and your child will all be subjected to the horrors of witching hour. This delightful time of day is so named because it appears as though a disturbing magical force has taken over your once happy baby, causing them to scream and cry at you for absolutely no reason. This happens around the same time every evening until they are around 12 weeks old. Despite soothing, feeding, burping, changing, walking around, playing, basically anything you can think of, your baby will continue to scream at you for hours. My friends and I used to text each other during this time to wish one another luck. But guess what guys? It's perfectly normal!
**(Again, if your worried something is actually wrong, go see someone who can help!)
3.) Your boobs spray. And the milk dribbles down your tummy when you lift up your top. And it's sticky. And sometimes, when you get out the bath, they just drip like a leaking tap someone forgot to turn off.
4.)You need more clothes for yourself now too. I stocked up on loads of babies clothes, fully prepared for the fact he would need changing constantly throughout the day. What I didn't know was the amount of clothes I would now get through. The sick, the poo, the wee, the milk....it all ends up on you too!
5.) Your vagina might....you know....make funny noises. Not like a creaking door, more like if you squat to pick something off the floor it might suck in air...and then... come back out. It only happens for a little while, I guess while its getting back to its normal size. All fun though, and wonderfully normal (and oh so attractive).
6. ) The birth isn't always as bad as you think. I really built myself up during the pregnancy expecting the absolute worst. I even told my other half I was thinking of asking for a c-section because there was no way I could do it. But I did do it, and actually, because I did it, I felt like I could take on the world. I won't go into the details of my birth but suffice to say, I expelled the tiny human. It doesn't matter how its done, just that it is, in fact, done.
7.) You can actually have a decent sex life afterwards. Ok, so it might not be exactly the same (much less preparation time for a start) but it still happens. You can still be up for it (generally once the vagina stops making noises, the weird smelling period stops and usually with your bra still on so he won't get a face full of milk) To be honest, I was surprised I ever even thought of doing it again.
8.) The sleep deprivation isn't always horrendous. I used to think I'd be so tired every day I wouldn't know my own name, I'd not wash my hair or remember how to dress myself. I had images of me doing the school run with my top on inside out, back to front and two different shoes on each foot. Don't get me wrong, I do have days like that, but they aren't every day. Some days (although I admit we are a few months in) he sleeps and I actually have time to do what I want. Shocking!
9.) However, sometimes it's totally normal to do the following; get out the bath forgetting you still had conditioner in and had only shaved one leg, put a potato 'away' in the washing machine, look for your phone frantically whilst being on it. Baby brain basically don't go even once you give birth.
10.) Cluster feeding. Cluster feeding is basically when your baby wants to hang off your boob or a bottle for the entire day, and occasionally pause for air. On these days, if you get a loo break, be grateful. Don't worry your baby isn't stuck on repeat, this is all totally normal
So there you are....just a few revelations I thought I'd share. Hopefully you might feel a bit more normal now.